Movie Review: Sex and the City

During its run on HBO, Sex and the City was a very successful show, due to certain attributes, certain things that the show and the writers were able to capture, a certain “je ne sais quoi!” It made New York a glamorous place to live in. It made spending thousands of dollars on shoes something adorable, if not necessary even. It made dishing and gossiping among friends a social habit worthy of chronicling. It made relationships seem simple and yet difficult at the same time. And, let’s not forget, it made instant celebrities of all who appeared on the show. True, almost the whole cast were famous and successful by their own rights, but the show made them household names.

As for the movie, I’m afraid I have some bad news. If you liked the movie, you might not want to continue reading, because things might get a bit ugly, plus, I will be revealing some plotlines, so avert your eyes if you really want to watch this movie and haven’t yet.

All gone? Good. Now let’s get to it.

I will give you two words to describe the movie: too long!

Two more words? Too predictable.

OK, I can’t help myself. I’m going to throw in yet two more words: too simplistic! Huh?

Let me explain. The first thing: too long. Well, it is! I was watching the movie with my wife and even she felt bored at certain times. I guess what this actually shows is that Sex and the City should only be seen half an hour at a time a la the HBO show!

Too predictable? You bet. When we last left the ladies, Carrie was getting back with Big, Samantha was moving to LA with boyfriend Jerry, Charlotte and hubby Harry were about to adopt a girl from China and Miranda was getting back together with Steve and raising son Brady.

So, what happens in the movie? Carrie gets a wedding proposal from Big, gets jilted at the altar, but still ends up marrying him anyway. Samantha does not like the West Coast, or being in a relationship, so she ditches both. Charlotte gets miraculously pregnant. Miranda has a huge fallout with Steve but still ends up back with him. How original.

Let me point out some holes in all of the above.

Carrie and Big. It’s cute that they were getting married. Trouble is, the show was never about being cute. Actually, the show constantly made fun of cute. The cuter you were the more ridicule you faced from the ladies. The whole thing with Carrie being profiled in Vogue and her trying on wedding dresses and getting one as a gift was beyond cute. It was downright out of Disney. And Big getting cold feet, that’s not Big. Big is a character larger than life. He is supposed to be the embodiment of New York in one single man. He is a successful business man, able to afford multi-million dollar penthouses. He gets cold feet because he is not able to connect with Carrie the night before, and the day of the wedding? Only to get cold feet on his cold feet and decides to go back to get married? Who writes this stuff? True, Carrie should have been devastated, but you know what? If that ever happens to me, that my wife-to-be’s cellphone is out of reach, and she is not responding to email, you know what I would do? I would go down to see her wherever she was. She is the love of his life, and he doesn’t know her three best friends’ cellphone numbers, so that he can talk to her and explain things? Maybe she wouldn’t have wanted to talk to him, and I would understand that, but not even trying to call Samantha or Miranda or Charlotte? I don’t get it.

Then when the ladies get back from Mexico, he doesn’t try to go to her apartment to talk to her? He instead sends a few emails and that’s it? Again, I don’t get it.

Samantha and Jerry and LA. I guess everyone knew what we going to happen there. She was never cut out for relationships, sex is her eternal boyfriend, and LA is just not her scene. But did they really have to make Jerry out to be a loser jerk that cares more about his career than Samantha? He’s the same guy who stood by her when she had cancer and chemo, and now at the drop of a heartbeat, he can’t even make it for a Valentine’s dinner? Oh yeah, the chocolates were a nice gesture! Just plain dumb writing.

Miranda and Steve. Who knew that she would put her career ahead of family? OK, OK, you all can lower your hands now. Apparently, one of the outcomes of putting career ahead of family is lower sexual libido. The outcome of that is the husband cheats. The outcome of that is the family gets separated. The outcome of that is that people realize they love each other and are meant to be together. Rinse. Repeat. Anyone who watches the Lifetime channel can tell you the above sequence. The irony is that the Lifetime channel is exactly the opposite of what Sex and the City is supposed to be about.

Charlotte and Harry. Well, they are living happily ever after. With their adopted child. And then they get pregnant. How much more “happily” can you get? The only thing missing are cartoon birds tying her hair knot! One thing about Harry: his part in the show was great because he was the anti-Charlotte. His rawness made him appealing. In the movie, he barely has a few lines, and looks like an idiot. A reformed, civil idiot.

New York is never featured as the fifth friend on the show. What is up with that?

The great thing about the Sex and the City show was that it showed the four friends as strong powerful women who can stand up on their own, with the occasional fling here and there. They never needed a man to feel fulfilled and accomplished. What this movie does is show them as sappy fools who only are looking for everlasting love. Well, they all eventually find it.

Even Samantha, beau-less, because the City (and a lot of sex) are her everlasting true love!

I give it 1.5 stars out of five.